Courtesy of the creativity of Jordyn Hollander, fellow Chuck Norris joke enthusiast!!
This is the old me. This was me, before I began training on Jan 2, 2013.
I was a physical disaster. I wore a 38-40 inch waist, which spoke nothing of the far larger belly I carried above my waistline. I couldn’t perform most crossfit type exercises, it was physically impossible. In fact, to my embarrassment, I had to hold my breath to bend over far enough to tie my shoes, it was a strain getting around my belly. My blood pressure had risen to the point of needing medication. At one point, the stress had deteriorated my health to the point where I was losing blood via my GI tract, had ulcers, and stress tension causing pinched nerves making me think I had had a stroke when part of my face went numb! I was working myself to death, and bandaging it with cocktails.
The mental and emotional effect was far worse……. I KNEW I was unattractive. I was embarrassed to go shirtless at the beach or pool. I had to creatively wear cloths to hide my gut. I looked OLD. I was aware of my lack of mobility, and that jogging across the parking lot would have me breathing hard. Women were no longer interested in me, and I had grown quite lonely. Pouring myself in to my work, I realized I had no life left – no hobbies, no activities, no travel, adventure, all that had been lost years ago. I had become miserable with myself.
Even when I was “doing better” and able to find my way in to the gym, all the progress I made during the week I would completely and thoroughly undo during the weekend by eating poorly and drinking. It was like I was in a time warp – two steps forward, three steps back – and losing ground. Meanwhile I was surrounded by competitors at The Gym, and saw the example they set. I witnessed the progress, the growth, the trials and tribulations, the discipline, the camaraderie. I wanted THAT life! I wanted to be a part of that team, that life. I wanted to experience it, to live it. I began to say “one of these days I’ll do a show”…. “when I get the office settled down, I’ll do a show”, “when I hire someone to free up the time, I’ll do a show”. No one believed me, with good reason! Finally I realized……. I was making excuses, and I was a “someday” guy……… a “wanna be”.
I was on the verge of becoming professionally and mentally burned out, and having an emotional and / or breakdown.
Frankly speaking, I had slipped, I had let myself go. Plain and simple, I was FAT.